My sleep story
If music is hurting your ears, you turn down the volume.
But it’s difficult to turn down the volume on your thoughts when they’re hurting your mind.
From my early teens to my early twenties, I really struggled with sleep. It would often take me up to 4 hours to fall asleep. I spent most days feeling like a zombie. But it was all I ever knew, so I didn’t question it.
That was until March 2021. That’s when I learned about the power of sleep, and its direct impact on mental health.
I was working hard on a project. Really hard. The more I worked on it, the more exciting it became - but also more stressful. That made it extremely difficult to sleep. In fact, I couldn’t sleep at all for days. But even without sleep, I kept working tirelessly.
After 8 days without sleep and relentless work, my mind wasn’t in the best place. Actually, that’s a bit of an understatement. Because by that point I had completely left planet Earth. I was hearing, seeing and thinking things that were far from reality. Some of it was exciting, some hilarious, some petrifying - but all absolutely, definitely delusional.
I was diagnosed with psychosis caused by stress and sleep deprivation. I was sectioned and admitted to a mental health hospital, where I spent the next 4 weeks slowly coming back to reality. And that whole experience was enough to scare me into taking sleep seriously. I never wanted to end up there again.
So off I went on a mission to figure out how to sleep, after years of not having a clue. It wasn’t easy. It’s hard to learn science with a sleep-deprived brain and zero confidence. But I’m so glad I stuck with it. Experiencing the difference it made to me is what inspired me to qualify as a Sleep Coach.
I had never lived life fully rested before. I was always exhausted. My mental health suffered in many ways, even before things became critical. But once I sorted my sleep out, things felt a lot brighter and more manageable up there. So I'd love to tell you what I learned, and what’s helped the most.
Who’s this for?
This is for anyone.
If you’ve been struggling with your mental health for a long time.
If you struggle to get a decent night’s sleep regularly.
If you have the odd bad day here and there.
Or if you just want to understand and support those around you better.
Sleep vs your mind
After a bad night’s sleep, two things happen to your brain:
1. Your brain gets weaker
Your brain is like a muscle. Sleep is when it rests and restores. If it doesn’t get enough of that time, just like any other muscle, it won’t perform as well the next day.
The emotional part of your brain - your amygdala - benefits massively from proper rest. If it doesn’t get enough, it becomes extra sensitive. That makes you more emotionally reactive. You’re more likely to feel angry at someone over something trivial, or have a little cry for no obvious reason.
I once cried at Geordie Shore after a late night. Anyone who’s seen that programme will know that reaction was absolutely not justified. No judgement please.
The prefrontal cortex is also affected. This part of the brain is responsible for self-control and keeping your emotions in check. After poor sleep, it’s harder to manage and disregard unhelpful thoughts and emotions. For me personally, it also makes it much harder to stop myself eating any sweet treat I lay my eyes on. But I’ll leave that for an article on physical health.
Your attention span also worsens. Quite simply, there’s less energy fuelling the brain. The lower the energy, the harder it is to concentrate and easier it is to become distracted. Which makes it much easier to scroll instead of getting your work done.
2. Your brain tries to protect itself
The human brain has evolved over thousands of years. For most of that time, we needed to defend ourselves against threats like wild animals or blokes with spears.
Now, we’re lucky to live a much safer existence without those types of threats.
But your brain hasn’t had the time to adapt to modern day living yet. So when it’s tired - it shifts into survival mode.
It wants you to be alert and is scanning for threats. So it heightens your awareness of negativity and speeds up your thoughts.
Thousands of years ago, that might have helped you spot someone attacking your tribe. But now it manifests itself differently, with racing and possibly negative thoughts, such as spotting flaws in yourself and the world around you, or worrying about everything that could ever potentially go wrong:
“I bet everyone thought I was so stupid when I got that question wrong” “That meeting’s coming up this week, I’m definitely going to mess it up.”
Symptom amplifier
It’s clear that bad sleep amplifies mental health difficulties. It turns up the volume, which makes tough situations tougher.
If someone has anxiety, do they need faster thoughts?
If someone is depressed, do they need greater awareness of negativity? If someone is bipolar, do they need to be more emotionally reactive?
If someone has ADHD, do they need a shorter attention span?
If anyone is struggling at all with their mental health, are any of those symptoms going to help?
Turning the volume down
This has all felt a bit doom and gloom so far, but here’s where things start getting hopeful.
Now, unfortunately you can’t literally turn a dial and switch your symptoms off. But you can turn them down by improving your sleep.
Luckily, there’s plenty of advice about sleep right now, and it’s great to see the topic getting the attention it deserves. But it can feel overwhelming. Some guidance won’t make a big difference, and may even distract from the small changes that really matter.
So, here are the actions that are most likely to make the biggest difference.
1. Stick to a consistent sleep and wake routine
Consistency is key. If your body and brain know when you’re going to sleep, they can help you fall asleep faster. If they know when you’re going to wake up, they can help you feel more energised in the morning.
This is potentially the most impactful thing you can do. But it’s also one of the hardest in our culture. The norm is early nights and early mornings in the week, then late nights and lie-ins at the weekend.
But keeping a consistent schedule doesn’t have to mean life becomes boring. We don’t live to sleep amazingly, we sleep to live amazingly.
Here’s a couple of tips:
● Question the norms. If someone asks you out for dinner at 8, ask if 6 works instead. If someone suggests the pub in the evening, suggest the afternoon.
● Say yes to anything that genuinely improves your quality of life - even if it means a late night. Just try to get up at your set time the next day. You might feel groggy, but you can handle it, and your sleep will be more efficient the next night. Plus, you can have a nap, as long as it’s not too close to bedtime.
2. Avoid bright and blue light 90 minutes before bed
For thousands of years, the only intense light our eyes saw in the daytime was bright light from the sun, and blue light from the sky.
Our brains evolved to see bright and blue light as a signal for daytime and so to be awake.
Then Thomas Edison came along with his bright idea and invented the lightbulb. And now most of us live under light-polluted skies.
The problem is, our brains haven’t adjusted to artificial light. They still think bright and blue light means daytime - even if it’s coming from “the big light” or your phone at 1am. This causes your brain to suppress melatonin, the hormone that helps you fall asleep and stay asleep.
I know, first no lie ins, now less late night scrolling. I’m sorry. I wish it was different too.
But it’s not about removing enjoyment. It’s about swapping it for something that doesn’t produce blue light. Reading, journalling, podcasts, writing songs, knitting, a face mask, folding washing, yoga, chatting with loved ones, a bath, meditation. Take your pick.
3. Avoid stress within 90 minutes of bed
If you’re doing something demanding - mentally or physically - your brain stays in “work mode”. That’s great when you need to get stuff done, but not great for sleep.
And unfortunately, “switching off” isn’t as quick as it sounds. It’s gradual. So giving yourself a buffer before bed allows your brain to shift into “relaxation mode", which makes it easier to fall asleep and stay asleep.
4. Avoid food within 3 hours of bed
Digesting food increases heart rate and core temperature. Both need to drop for you to fall asleep.
And if your body is trying to digest last night’s casserole whilst repairing muscle and supporting your immune system, it’s going to struggle to do the best job with any of it. But if you do want to reduce the blow and have a midnight snack, avoid protein, as it takes longer to digest.
But again, life happens. Like someone might organise a late night birthday dinner. Go. Enjoy it. It’s the day to day that matters in the long term.
5. Avoid caffeine within 8 hours of bed
Caffeine is a stimulant and it takes time to leave your system. The more that’s still in your system at bedtime, the more stimulated you’ll feel.
Eight hours is general advice. But we’re all different. It’s worth experimenting and seeing what’s best for you, especially if you’re sensitive or consuming a lot.
6. Create a calm, cool, quiet, dark bedroom
The less information your brain has to process - mess, noise, light - the less alert it will be. And the less alert we are, the easier it is to get to sleep, stay asleep, and get good sleep.
Also, we’re built to sleep best in cooler environments. If your body doesn’t have to put effort into bringing your temperature down, it can focus more on sleep.
Is it worth all that effort?
Look, great sleep isn’t guaranteed to remove every difficulty completely. But it can make a huge dent in them. Any improvement reduces the level of the amplifiers that were discussed earlier.
Thoughts feel calmer. Emotions feel more manageable. And you have more control over which ones you listen to.
But it’s not just about your mind. Sleep affects almost every area of life, so you get a lot of benefit from small, consistent changes:
● Increased productivity
● Reduced risk of injury
● Stronger immunity
● Stronger relationships
● Enhanced fitness
● Higher energy and motivation
The list goes on...
So, what now?
I didn’t understand the power of sleep until I saw both the damage it could do and the benefits it could bring.
You don’t fully believe anything until you experience it. So, the advice above won’t mean much at all unless you give it a try.
You might miss a few late nights out, a couple hours of TV, or an afternoon coffee or two. But you might unlock a version of your mind you never knew existed.
But remember, next time you’re having a bad mental health day, it might simply be that your brain is tired. Make a special effort to take care of it and do what you can to give it the rest it needs.
Sweet dreams always,
Tommy.
Find Tommy on LinkedIn.