Find yourself
Speaking from a Queer place, this stage is often our ‘coming out.’ In broader terms, you’ve realised something in yourself that means you’re not as you once thought you were. This can produce a mixture of feelings (both good and bad). These are indicators that you've found an important part of who you are.
As a Queer person, discovering myself was both terrifying and delightful. It also came with a variety of fashion choices that I will furiously insist is a normal example of this process. It’s natural to focus on a newly discovered aspect of yourself. It’s a chance to break routine and enjoy expressing who you are.
As you continue becoming yourself, it’s not uncommon for more negative emotions to also emerge - people might be surprised at the new/true you, and the way they express this may not be how you wanted them to react. That can be overwhelming but you don't have to deal with that on your own - you can talk to a friend or even a professional who gets it. Through learning more about yourself, you will naturally arrive at the next part of the process.
Find your people
Turns out, you’re not the only person who has this aspect in themselves, there’s actually loads of you! Humans are ultimately social creatures, so really it’s good there’s a whole community of people you’re a part of, even if you’ve only just realised you’re amongst them.
This part is perhaps where you get the most energised. From my own experience of recognising my Queerness, I quickly went from a state of elated joy for Pride Marches to genuine contempt for politicians and corporations appropriating colours that I felt partly belonged to me. At any rate, a rush of energy often comes from the fact that you have found your people. This is not, however, the final step in finding oneself.
Find your pride
It’s difficult writing about a place, that transparently, I am not totally familiar with. I have myself and my people, but I increasingly feel the urge for something else.
Nietzsche suggested that the process of becoming oneself should begin with a Camel (carrying the weight of ourselves), change to a Lion (our own Master, hunting our freedom) before finally becoming a Child. Finding our Pride should be a place of innocence and truth, free from our previous learnings and embracing who we know ourselves to be.
For me, this requires us to love ourselves. Whatever you have learned about yourself, whatever people you have realised you belong to, you have worth and you should be Proud of who you are. I hope this Queer-coded roadmap is of use on your journey!
Want to explore your Pride journey? Using the filtering system on our booking page, select LGBTQIA+ and you'll see all the practitioners who are ready to support you.
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